now

i read about a woman in another blog this morning. she was killed in a car wreck in atlanta 2 days ago. she was a wife, mother of two and successful interior designer. she blogged daily about her family, home, work and all the things she was passionate about in her life. the blog yesterday was written by her husband. it is heart breaking. i read it several times this morning because in a way, it drove home even further, some of the thoughts i have wanted to blog about lately.

when we got back from our vacation in the mountains, i was looking through all of the photos. they were so great. i couldn't help but think about how much fun we had and how quickly those moments became memories overnight. when you are in the moment, sometimes (a lot of the time for me) you are focused on other things and not really relishing the time you are spending with those that you are with and love. i know this is sounding serious, but it is...in a good way. why is it so difficult at times to really enjoy where you are and what you have without worrying about what you don't have? i know for me personally, the older i get, the more i get it. it may take a few times or a few nudges from those around me, but i am better at letting go of things faster and learning to truly enjoy the moment. however, the blog i read this morning just reminds me how much i still need to slow down and appreciate the little moments of everyday. at times they may seem boring or insignificant, but tomorrow they are gone.

perfectionism is another thought i have been pondering on lately. last week we were watching a rerun of modern family. it was the season finale and although we had seen it, still just as funny. the mom on this show struggles with perfectionism. it is humorous but sometimes things speak to you in a more serious way if you are tuned in and really listening. she was trying to get the perfect family portrait taken because she realized that life was passing them by and things would never be the same for everyone as they were in that moment. in her attempt to capture it though, she was driving everyone around her crazy. her husband commented on the fact that she tended to miss the beauty in life and all that is around her because she is so focused on the flaws. ouch. when i looked back at our photos from last week, all i could see was how beautiful my family is, how healthy we are, how precious those moments together with wil and em were for us. they are growing up and this time will never be the same. that's not meant to sound morbid...just the truth. there will be more great moments and we have so much to look forward to in our life but i want to appreciate where we are now and not look back in a few months and regret not realizing how great it truly was...because at the time, all i could focus on were the flaws.

i hope that this silly blog that we started will be a time capsule or diary of sorts for our family. one day wil and em can look back and read through the things that we have posted month after month, the photos we pointedly chose to use (sorry for the embarrassing bikini/track suit photo) and see how much we enjoyed our life. i hope it will be a window for them into our lives as we learned things, struggled with things, cooked, travelled, shopped, and made simple but priceless memories every day. whether it be a trip to bruster's on a friday night, laughing at potential pet names, dreaming of a building we want one day, sending wil and em on a scavenger hunt, driving them to school on a monday morning or going to a fancy cotillion. i hope it will show them and our extended families a little bit more of who we are and how proud we are of all of you. love you, mean it.