give it away now

yesterday was wil's 15th birthday. with it also falling 2 days before new year's, i think it is fitting to share a sweet post about him. a lesson he learned on his birthday could be a great resolution as well.

wil is one of the most loyal friends i know. he has had a handful of friends since he was little that he still calls his "best friends" even though they have grown up and apart in lots of ways. he still maintains his faithfulness to them. one friend in particular, came to visit him yesterday on his birthday. this friend came to the lower school in 2nd grade and wil befriended him instantly. and they have remained such ever since. this friend moved away at the end of the school year last year and wil was really bummed about it. this had been his saxophone buddy and partner in crime in so many things over the years. they have stayed in touch and he was excited to have him back in town for a visit.

they hung around our house for awhile and played xbox while we took down the christmas decorations. i wish i could give an accurate visual of the two of them. this boy is probably 6 feet tall and wil is not. he also has the booming voice and mannerisms to go along with his stature. he is a sweet kid. it was fun to have him in our home again and hear their conversations...and that was not a problem. after a while of hanging out, they decided to walk downtown and go to schroeder's. his friend had missed this local food a lot. wil told me they were going and that he had money so not to worry about them. wil never has money. he spends it as fast as he gets it. i knew that what he did have from christmas, he wanted to save to buy a new amp for his guitar. but i didn't argue...i was obsessing over christmas tree needles and untangling lights.

so they went, came back, hung out some more and then we took him back to his grandparents' house. after we dropped him off, wil was pretty quiet. i knew he missed his friend and it had made his birthday to get to see him. we were on the way to have birthday dinner and he finally spoke up. he told us that he "had learned a lesson today." he said that when they got to schroeder's his friend did not have any money so wil wanted to buy his lunch. he said, "now i know why you don't let me order the biggest order of wings on the menu. it is expensive." he said that he kept adding up what they wanted to order in his head and calculating whether or not he had enough money. he said he suggested the smaller order of wings to his friend. wil told him he was not hungry and that he could have them all. i asked him if he had enough for their lunch and he said yes. "it took all i had so i understand why going out to eat is expensive now."

i felt my heart melt a little for him. i knew he was saving that money but i knew that he had done the right thing. he wanted to do something nice for his friend while he was visiting. he wanted to buy his lunch.

later, after dinner, he opened his gifts and was given enough money for his birthday to buy the amp and have some left over. we pointed out to him that it was really cool that he had given and now it had been given back to him. it reminded me of what i had tried to tell em at chrismas. you can't give recklessly or irresponsibly. but you also want to be generous and not afraid to let go of things and give to people.

this was a good lesson. and it's a good thing to ponder for the new year.

you ain't going nowhere

december is the busiest month of the year for us. it starts on the 16th with em's birthday, next is christmas, followed by our anniversary on the 27th, and then we wrap it up with wil's birthday on the 29th. we tried to take a breather on the 27th and get away to celebrate our 2-year anniversary. before i continue with this post, which is an account of our anniversary trip, let me preface it by saying that is a heartfelt anecdote that is written with all the love and laughter that the trip provided. i love you pb. and i love every adventure that we have had (including jamaica) and will have in the future...

we left rome on monday morning headed for clayton, georgia for the night. a friend of pb's has a cabin there and had invited us up for a visit. we were so excited to get out of town and relax in the mountains, have a fire, and do nothing. we stopped in atlanta to do a quick shopping errand and then drove up 85 for our getaway. we called his friend as we got close to clayton to get more specific directions...the beginning of the adventure i had not pictured. (you know how you envision things in your mind when you are anticipating a trip or a party or event? you imagine the place, the people, the fun...this wasn't in my picture) while pb was on the phone, i could hear his friend talking and then there was a lot of laughing. somehow he had failed to fully describe to us the amount of ice and snow that was still on the road leading up to the top of the mountain where the cabin was. he had tried to drive up the road on sunday and his car slid off the ice and into a ditch. he left the car overnight and when he walked back to get it on monday...to meet us in town...it had been towed. so we met him at the bottom of the hill and drove 6-7 miles back in the direction we had just travelled to find his rental car. the milan. we drove over more icy roads out in the middle of nowhere to retrieve the milan. we finally found it on a chicken farm with about 100 other cars, 15 of which had been towed that day. at $95.00 a pop, pb was doing the math on what this chicken farmer/tow truck driver had made on a monday. our friend paid the guy, got in the car and we followed him carefully down the icy, dirt road back to the main highway.

we were good, laughing and joking about the chickens and the sweet rental car he was having to drive and looking forward to making some guacamole and sitting by the fire. we stopped by the grocery store to pick up our things for dinner. as we were all walking in, pb tells him that we are thinking burgers and fresh guacamole for dinner. our friend then breaks the next bit of news to us...we may not be able to drive up the mountain. we may have to park the cars and walk so we might want to plan something light for dinner...we will be carrying everything uphill for about a mile. now, i am a walker. i love a good hike. but really? it is our anniversary, it is freezing, i am wearing cute boots and starving by this point. so his news was not sitting well with me. this was not what i had envisioned. but we were all still in good spirits and i was being optimistic. i didn't want to appear ungrateful for his invitation or disappoint pb. i am hanging on to the word "may" and clinging to the hope that we will be able to make it up the road. images of cameron diaz in that movie, the holiday, are coming to mind. her frustratingly trudging through the snow to the quaint vacation house with all of her luggage and great boots on too.

so we left the grocery store with everything but the guacamole makings. hopeful. we followed our friend to the base of the mountain and then he and pb left me in the truck. they walked a little of the way to see how the ice looked. they were gone for about 15 minutes. long enough for me to decide that whatever the verdict was, i was going to make the most of this. i saw them coming back but couldn't read their faces. they had decided to give it a try...in the milan. we were leaving the truck and our friend assured us that the only reason he was towed was because his car was in a ditch. our truck would be fine. now a new set of images are running through my head. so we loaded everything into the milan and left the titan parked safely on the side of the road. we collectively held our breaths through every turn as we climbed up the mountain road. all i could think was what a nightmare it would have been to try and hike up it with all of our things. after several twists and turns, we finally made it. we parked on the road and made our way through the snow and into the cabin. ahhhhh...

our friend promised me the best fire i had ever seen and we opened a bottle of wine to celebrate the safe arrival. the view from the deck was amazing and the cabin was the coziest place. there was a whole bookshelf of games so after a while, we played one of them. hilarious. around 8:00, pb and friend started the charcoal grill on the deck. the wind was howling like i have never heard it so it took longer than usual to grill. this seemed to be the theme of our trip. the burgers were great and we continued to enjoy the fire and company until we couldn't hold our eyes open anymore.

we woke up yesterday morning and the roads were frozen again. by this point, i was done with snow and being stuck. i was even entertaining the idea of walking back down the mountain with our stuff if the milan couldn't make it. so we waited. and waited. finally around 1:00 we decided to try the roads. and i'm hoping the truck is still there. but if not, at least we knew where the chicken farm was.

we made it down, the truck was there and we had lunch with our friend before saying our goodbyes. it was a beautiful place and i wouldn't trade the trip for anything. we had some good laughs and even more laughs once we got home. we had a anniversary dinner date last night in rome and toasted to the best 2 years ever.

love you. mean it!

it's coming on christmas

i cannot believe that it is christmas eve. i know that sounds cliche, but where did the time go? we have had a wonderful holiday season full of lots of special reminders, lessons, and fun times with family and friends. our house is quiet this morning because everyone is sleeping in and enjoying the calm before the chaos of christmas eve and day. we all needed a good night's sleep.

we made the most of this past week to set aside some time to see friends and celebrate the season. i always love the week before christmas because all of the big parties are over, most of the shopping is finished and it is such a great time to have friends over and relax and enjoy the merriment with little stress. we had friends over last weekend, then a little get together on tuesday night, got to run errands and play with em all day on wednesday and then girls' night with liz and jules that evening. wil stayed home on wednesday to sign for a fed ex delivery. he was perfectly content to strum on his bass guitar by the tree and watch t.v. all afternoon.

later on wednesday afternoon, one of pb's good friends came to visit. they were having guys' night wednesday evening. liz and i ended up meeting them after our dinner for some holiday cheer. we all went back to our house and sat by the fire and christmas tree until about 2:00 in the morning...laughing, talking and just enjoying the time together.

pb had to be up early for a shoot on thursday morning and his buddy hung out here and read some medical stuff for school. he is about to begin his residency and it was interesting to hear the ins and outs of what he has been doing. he is a precious guy and has been going through a tough time. a recent divorce that has been difficult to handle in the midst of all of his career demands. i was busy emptying the dishwasher while he was reading when he stopped and walked into our kitchen. he had tears in his eyes. he just stood there and asked me, "do you ever get over it?" i was caught a little off guard. i stared back at him wanting to say something helpful or comforting. but all that came out of my mouth was "no." i wanted to reel it back in as soon as the word hit the air. then i said "yes, you will, but i think it is a process." about that time, one of his professors called to discuss what he had been reading so the conversation ended.

i left to go for a walk and my heart was just hurting for him. there was so much i wanted to say to help him out. i understand. and the holidays make things so much lonelier when you are going through any sort of hard time. i wanted to go back and say, "you will be ok. and yes, you will get over it. it is a process. and you have to know that and not let yourself get swallowed up in the emotion of it all. it's ok to grieve. you have to do that. and you will do it over and over again. but you will get ok."

this is such a priceless time of year and i have enjoyed the time with pb, wil and em, and our friends and family so much. but it is sobering to be reminded that even though it is the holiday season, people are still hurting. and they hurt even more during this time of year. my heart goes out to this friend and i am thankful that our family got to spend time with him this week. his laughter and good spirits were a bright spot for us and wil thinks he is the greatest.

so merry christmas eve and thank you to all of our family and friends that have made this a memorable week before christmas!

merry meat-mas!

i'd like to toast to friendship tonight. we had such a great weekend with some precious friends. it started on friday night with a dinner at our house. pb smoked a variety of things on his smoker and i made homemade mac and cheese to go with it. one couple brought a giada salad and the other brought a yummy chocolate dessert and champagne. true comfort food at its best. it was the perfect way to kick off our christmas vacation. the guys were talking by the fire and the girls were talking in the kitchen for a while before dinner. somehow the subject of christmas came up and we were talking about not really feeling it this year and being sort of bah humbug...until friday night. it seemed to be just what we all needed. i love these girls. they are truly good friends and so easy to be around. anyway, in the course of our conversation we all realized that we had nothing pressing going on for saturday night and decided to meet at georgia grille for dinner. one of my all time favorite places to eat in the world...that, and canyon grill. one couple had already planned to meet some friends for dinner and invited the rest of us to join in on the reservation. it was one of those nights that never would have worked if we had tried to plan it. somehow it just all fell into place. one couple has 5 kids, one has 3, the other has 4 so it was truly an aligning of the stars that we were able to meet for dinner.

i was thinking about the weekend yesterday and how it had been so peaceful and fun in the midst of all the holiday busyness. i was also thinking about how much it means to me to have these friendships. this is what makes the holidays even more special. thanks girls.

and here is the photo of our table on friday night...before i lit the candles or the fire : (
merry! merry!

grande vanilla latte

i have 2 different subjects to post about this morning. it is our last day of school before the christmas break so i have a million things going on today and on my mind...slow down...

first: wil and i went out yesterday afternoon to wrap up his christmas shopping. he just finished with his first semester exams, which were also his first round of upper school exams, so he was in great spirits and relieved to be done. we have been mentally preparing for this for months. we only have one grade back so far and it was a good one so we are eagerly awaiting the others. when i say "we" in this, i am really not including wil. several of his exams had essay questions. a teacher that was working with him in the planning for exams stressed that the teachers would be looking for facts and less fluff in his writing. he could be creative, but make sure to include the important info the teachers were looking for. the more facts, less fluff is what stuck in my head. so here is the more facts, less fluff version of my christmas shopping experience with wil...could be a compare and contrast sort of thing if you read yesterday's post about emily's shopping day.

em's shopping took a day. wil's lasted all of one hour. now let me preface anything else i am going to say with the fact that wil has one of the biggest hearts i know. he is the kindest and most thoughtful kid around. but shopping is not on his list of things he loves to do. unless it is for something specific that he has to have. so our trip involved wrapping up the shopping he had left to do in one store. (he had given his christmas money to em and me on saturday to do most of his shopping for him.) there was a lot of me checking the list, me holding up items, him nodding, him checking his phone, him looking around to see if he knew anyone in the store and him asking if we could go to starbucks at least 6 or 7 times. wil wanted to get gifts that people would love, but there is no fluff to go along with the experience. we were in, out and done. ready to move on to the next thing.

second: i was experiencing my own distractions because i had not been in tj maxx in a few weeks. lots of good stuff yesterday. so i went back later last night to look by myself. i also ran by pier one. something about shopping after dark just feels so christmasy to me. i scored several great finds that i will try to photograph and include in a blog over the weekend. we are having a casual dinner party tonight and i found some great things for my table. i also spotted a little short, fur swing coat at tj maxx that was on the clearance rack. a girl followed me around the store eyeing it in my hand. i know she was waiting to see if i would put it down...i only know this because i am guilty of this same crime...stalking an item. i did not put it down. finally she asked me where i found it. i tried to help her find another one but no luck. anyway, the fur coat came home with me. so cute. and for $20.00 how could i pass it up?

so, a successful afternoon was had by all. i found some fun little treasures and wil was able to finish his shopping without too much pain or discomfort. for those of you receiving gifts from him, they will be given with equally as much love as em's gifts. they just had their own christmas shopping experiences. but here is a question i leave this post with...did i do it again? should i have let wil out and told him to finish his shopping on his own and that i would pick him up in an hour? did i miss a teachable moment here? at some point i have got to quit doing everything for him so he can learn for himself...before he passes the gauntlet on to some cute girlfriend or later wife that will do everything for him all over again : )

all i want for christmas

em and i went christmas shopping last saturday to finish all of her gift buying for family and friends. she had been given an amount of money from her grandparents this year that was designated for the sole purpose for shopping for gifts. she is very responsible and already had her lists made when we set out on this adventure. we started out downtown at her favorite shop. she purchased gifts for several of her friends here. i was impressed with her generosity and could see that she wanted to pick out individual gifts that each girl would love to open. the presents were wrapped while she was checking out at the register. they looked so lovely when the girl handed them to her. em smiled. she took her receipt and placed it in her "christmas money envelope" and we moved on to the next stop.

we decided to drive to calhoun for some of these gifts. again, one of those afternoons i will always remember with her. chatting, listening to christmas music and just being together. it was cold and crowded but this did not deter us. we went from store to store, looking, deciding, marking things off her list. as we were nearing the end of her shopping, she looked in her envelope and then got kind of quiet. i could tell she was thinking. "christmas shopping is expensive", she said pensively. i wasn't sure what to say. i could tell this was a teachable moment and she was getting it. i didn't want to ruin it by saying something too motherly or dumb. so i just nodded and agreed with her.

as we headed home, we stopped by starbucks to refuel. the line was wrapped around the building so she hopped out and ran in to get her hot chocolate. when she got back in the car and we were on our way, she remarked again about how much it costs to buy for everyone that you love. her list was long. this time i agreed and added that this was an opportunity for her to see how much everyone sacrifices at christmas time to give to each other. we do it because we want to, but it can be expensive. now she could see the other side of this christmas experience. as a little girl, it was all about the receiving. but she is crossing over to the other side of getting the whole picture now...just a little bit.

i thought about her later and how the day had been such a great learning experience. she was learning about being financially responsible and about being a thoughtful giver. it could have been tempting to withhold her generosity and not spend very much on people in a selfish way or she could have been irresponsible and spent too much. there is a line in giving and i don't know when you fully understand it or if anyone ever has a completely pure heart about it. but the heart of wanting to learn and wanting to do her best is what i saw. i saw her struggle with some things. all a part of growing up. i don't ever want to see her lose that generous or giving heart. a sweet christmas lesson for me.

one ivy crescent, part 2

we want to share the fruit of our labor. happy holidays!!!

baby, it's cold outside

brrrrr. if it is going to be this cold, some snow would be nice. and while i'm making requests, some snow on christmas day would be even nicer...

so here are a few product finds to get you through these frigid days:

1. nike element thermal half-zip running top. this was a treat waiting on me last friday when i got home from school. pb said happy december 3rd. i love it. it is the dri-fit fabric that nike does so well. keeps you warm but wicks away the "dew" when you are walking or running. two features i love: the fitted media-player zip pocket at back right hem and the thumbholes at the cuffs! the first is perfect to hold your ipod, the 2nd is just great. if you don't own something with thumbholes, you are missing out. cute and functional.

2. burt's bees lip shimmer. i bought my first tube of this 3 years ago at ace hardware. my sister introduced me to this little find while we were purchasing gifts cards for christmas gifts. i keep a tube of it in my bathroom drawer and one in the pocket of my coat. this natural lip balm contains vitamin e, coconut oil and sunflower oil. it protects and soothes your lips. guava is my color of choice.

3. the north face power stretch gloves. i like these gloves because i can still maneuver my ipod, put on the burt's bees lip balm or hold a coffee cup with them. em has the wind wall glove by the north face. they are great too but you can't be as dexterous with them. i find these an absolute necessity if you are outside for any length of time. my hands get so dry and these have been a lifesaver.

4. revlon nail enamel in creme brulee. while we are taking care of our hands, a great polish. not an essie polish but equally as cool of a color...and a walgreens find. it is gold without looking too 80's. a good, subtle gold. if you were lucky enough to score the j. crew sequin mesh bell skirt in gold dust, that was on sale thanksgiving weekend, it goes perfectly with that...thanks chic atlanta friend. a perfect holiday combination.

i would love to include a few more finds that arrived on my doorstep today...but they are christmas gifts and don't want to give anything away! stay warm and stay tuned...our christmas cards arrived and have been mailed. i will post one on here in a few days!

mele kalikimaka

i had the best time at my friend/neighbor's cookie swap yesterday. i think she said this was the 6th year for this event. it is the 4th one that i have been invited to and attended. this cookie swap is unlike any other that i have witnessed or been a part of...ever. she always has the party on the first saturday in december. i was telling some friends last night that i look forward to it as one of the most festive things i do all season. it truly kicks off the holiday party season each year for me.

i baked 4 dozen chess squares on friday night and pb and i ordered mexican food from our favorite place. he had a fire on the patio, his favorite allagash beer in hand (this was to be a special weekend for him...war eagle!) and called his buddy to talk football. i baked and listened to music inside the warm house. those chess squares make our whole house smell like christmas. it was a cozy and fun friday evening. the fire was out and we were in bed by 10:00. i knew saturday was going to be a big day for both of us.

when i woke up saturday morning, i enjoyed some coffee, got all of my chess squares cut and arranged on the platter and then got ready for the party. pb was already nervous about the big game. auburn in the sec championship...his dream. around 10:30 my bff arrived at my house and we walked to the party together. it was cold and felt like a perfect december morning. everything on my neighbor's porch was decorated for christmas and it looked so inviting. as we opened the door you could smell all of the cookies and other goodies she had prepared. her house was lit up with lights and shiny decorations everywhere. she had a champagne punch and bloody mary's for holiday spirits to go along with all of the treats. here is where the line of difference is drawn between this cookie swap and other cookie swaps i have been to in the past. this swap is a party at 10:30 in the morning...in a good way. there is a lot of laughing and there are a lot of bad pictures being made. so much fun. there are door prizes (i got the mat for my front door that i wanted...the prize for the guest that walked the shortest distance to the party). after the door prizes, everyone walks around the table and fills up their containers with a sampling of all the treats. the table looks like nothing i can describe. i called pb to walk up and help me carry all of my things back down the hill. he was in full, game-day serious mode so walking into a house of loud, laughing girls that are 2 hours in to a bunch of sugar and champagne was not very amusing to him. but he was a good sport.

i think the party went on for some time. we could hear music being cranked up and more laughing for quite a while. maybe i left too soon?

a thank you to the hostess for a fabulous time at the annual cookie swap. enjoyed seeing friends and being a part of this christmas party. cannot wait until next year!

a gift

i had one of those things happen to me tonight that just sort of jars you. i ran to k-rogers to grab a few things for dinner while pb picked up wil from lacrosse conditioning. i got home just as it was getting a little dark. i could see the lights from our christmas tree as i drove up and the lights outside on our porch railing looked so beautiful. a cold december 1st evening. i love it. i hurried inside to unload the groceries and as i was passing by the front door to turn up thermostat, i caught a glimpse of our neighbor from down the street. he was walking back from the mailbox and saw me inside as i was adjusting the heat. he stopped and looked in and i started to hurry away from the door. i wanted to get dinner started and not open the door for a conversation in the cold. but he saw me, see him, and it would have been rude to act like i didn't.

soooo, i opened the door and he started up the walkway to speak to me. he could hardly contain himself as he blurted out that he had received a report from his wife's doctor today. the tumor that was on her optic nerve, one she has been battling since last spring, was gone. the look on his face and the tone in his voice was one of such serious relief and thankfulness...i can't adequately describe the state of his emotions. i wanted to empathize, to share in his joy. i felt inept. as his eyes welled up with tears all i could see was the reality of what he had been dealing with for months and how it had all come to a head today with this news. my heart went out to him and i know i sounded completely awkward with whatever i did manage to say. but i was so blown away by the realness of the moment and the expression exuding from his whole being. we spoke a few more words and he walked home. as i closed the door i was hit with such sobering thoughts.

i was so happy for him and for his precious wife. i wanted him to know that but there was no way to convey it without sounding trite. how many times have i heard of someone suffering with a life threatening illness or someone suffering from a loss? my heart goes out to them but then i go about with my daily life and get sidetracked with the details of whatever it is we have going on. i know that is normal...we are all living life. but i think when i saw the look of total thankfulness, coupled with the knowing of what really matters, in this man's eyes, it sunk in just a little deeper.

i tend to get so fixated on the little things that don't matter sometimes. when you see somebody that has had to face the "what ifs?" and struggled daily with a disease like this, you realize how unimportant those little things really are. i am so thankful that i walked to the door at that moment and didn't miss this opportunity.