xoxo

heartstrings. when i hear that word it reminds me of something sweet or something dear. sometimes it is accompanied by images of those little precious moments figurines that people used to collect or a tender hallmark commercial that might make you want to throw up. your heartstrings are your deepest feelings or affections. the origin of the word itself means "tendons or nerves formerly believed to brace the heart". that sounds more like what i have been pondering on lately. the heartstrings i have been thinking about are more of a deep, almost pain, or grit that you feel in your heart for somebody that is so intense, you didn't think it was possible...not the pastel, flowering kind of heartstrings. real tendons and nerves.

we were at dinner a few weeks ago with some friends and as usual, started talking about our children. the husband commented that he never realized that you could love two people as much as he loves his children. "it is amazing", he said. i agreed. it struck me because i had been thinking that same thing over the last week or so.

i had to mention it this week because i am just as amazed as our friend was that two people can yank at your heartstrings so much. when they are little, it is a different kind of pull on your heart. but the older they get, the stronger it gets. i'm wondering if it is because they are becoming "people" now with such distinct personalities (even though personalities are evident when they are little) and you can see their struggles, their fears, what makes them smile, etc. in a much more real way? no one could have told you that one day, two little people were going to grow up and stop your heart with every hurt, accomplishment, laughter or thing that they do. your heart can be full to the brim with frustration and love at the same time. and when someone else lives for and loves them too? your heartstrings reach out further and become attached to that somebody in a deeper way.

this wasn't meant to be sappy. that is not what i am trying to translate here. it is an attempt to express the awe that i am experiencing for the capacity of the human heart. it's really too big, too raw, to indescribable of a concept to fully wrap my brain around. i'm trying.

now i'm off to find this cool polish in a pale shade of lilac(pastel in a good way) that i spotted on somebody for a pedicure. happy labor day weekend!