the fray

i saw this pin on another blog this morning so i admittedly copied and pasted the photo. we had one of those evenings at our house last night. i went to bed mad (so no grateful post), woke up mad and then got to school and read this blog. part of my morning routine is to get to school early enough to enjoy some coffee, check emails and then read 3 blogs that i love. they usually inspire me creatively or emotionally/spiritually in some way or another. so thankful that i had time to catch this one before school started. the title of this particular post was "the blame game". the girl (funny how several of my friends read her blog and think we are all friends...we've never met her) was talking about having an a-ha moment yesterday when she heard a voice in her head say "it's not your fault." she went on to describe how completely liberating the statement was to her. she says that she has always struggled with self-esteem and blaming herself for everything...especially things that are out of her control. hello? did i secretly write this and not remember? i did get hit in the head with a frisbee pretty hard in the courtyard at school yesterday. oh my gosh, it hurt.

i can relate to the blame game. i can turn any reaction or situation into my fault in some way or another. i get told often to relax. the scenario that went down at our house last night was nothing different than what was probably going on at the neighbor's house. but somehow, i always take things to heart. and eventually i'll take false responsibility for everyone's reactions, happiness, unhappiness and blame myself for the issues at hand. we have had kind of a stressful week.

let's face it. we all screw up. we all make a mess of things at times. and for those things, we should accept responsibility and be accountable. but there is an element of grace that i need to learn to afford myself a little bit more. not everything is in my control or the result of something dumb i have said or done. and if it is, than i need to take ownership of it and accept it as a mistake, move on, and not beat myself up about it. but life happens. and most of the time, these things are just not as big of a deal as i perceive them to be. and i can't fix everything.

so tgif.