a gift

i had one of those things happen to me tonight that just sort of jars you. i ran to k-rogers to grab a few things for dinner while pb picked up wil from lacrosse conditioning. i got home just as it was getting a little dark. i could see the lights from our christmas tree as i drove up and the lights outside on our porch railing looked so beautiful. a cold december 1st evening. i love it. i hurried inside to unload the groceries and as i was passing by the front door to turn up thermostat, i caught a glimpse of our neighbor from down the street. he was walking back from the mailbox and saw me inside as i was adjusting the heat. he stopped and looked in and i started to hurry away from the door. i wanted to get dinner started and not open the door for a conversation in the cold. but he saw me, see him, and it would have been rude to act like i didn't.

soooo, i opened the door and he started up the walkway to speak to me. he could hardly contain himself as he blurted out that he had received a report from his wife's doctor today. the tumor that was on her optic nerve, one she has been battling since last spring, was gone. the look on his face and the tone in his voice was one of such serious relief and thankfulness...i can't adequately describe the state of his emotions. i wanted to empathize, to share in his joy. i felt inept. as his eyes welled up with tears all i could see was the reality of what he had been dealing with for months and how it had all come to a head today with this news. my heart went out to him and i know i sounded completely awkward with whatever i did manage to say. but i was so blown away by the realness of the moment and the expression exuding from his whole being. we spoke a few more words and he walked home. as i closed the door i was hit with such sobering thoughts.

i was so happy for him and for his precious wife. i wanted him to know that but there was no way to convey it without sounding trite. how many times have i heard of someone suffering with a life threatening illness or someone suffering from a loss? my heart goes out to them but then i go about with my daily life and get sidetracked with the details of whatever it is we have going on. i know that is normal...we are all living life. but i think when i saw the look of total thankfulness, coupled with the knowing of what really matters, in this man's eyes, it sunk in just a little deeper.

i tend to get so fixated on the little things that don't matter sometimes. when you see somebody that has had to face the "what ifs?" and struggled daily with a disease like this, you realize how unimportant those little things really are. i am so thankful that i walked to the door at that moment and didn't miss this opportunity.